G.I. Joe 0/10
What was this movie supposed to be? I can tell you want it was not supposed to be, which was G.I. Joe. There was not one redeemable quality to this movie. I give Michael Bay a lot of crap for the Transformers movies, but my god, watching this made me hurt. I should have turned it off during the first three minutes when I saw Channing Tatum and Marlon Waynes. The only thing that kept me going was Rachel Nichols in leather pants.
DO NOT WATCH.
What was this movie supposed to be? I can tell you want it was not supposed to be, which was G.I. Joe. There was not one redeemable quality to this movie. I give Michael Bay a lot of crap for the Transformers movies, but my god, watching this made me hurt. I should have turned it off during the first three minutes when I saw Channing Tatum and Marlon Waynes. The only thing that kept me going was Rachel Nichols in leather pants.
DO NOT WATCH.
Wonder how Captain America is doing in other countries... Maybe they re titled it Captain Great Satan and roll in the green stuff (or whatever color their money is)
Character development was HORRIBLE. The only thing they said about red skull was he's evil and the doctor worked on him, that's it. Good development.
The enemies were funny. At times they literally had Captain America going crazy and attacking all them, and multiple enemies were just standing there. You're telling me that not ONE of them woulda pulled out their laser gun and shot him? He did get in trouble once, when he wanted to and wanted to get into Red Skulls lab. That's it.
It's Captain America in all but 3 countries, it's called The First Avenger.
Saw the movie tonight. Really liked it, Red Skull looked pretty cool.
Avengers trailer at the end was great.
Cap America is a fun and entertaining blockbuster but not great, unfortunately. It really sucks cause it had everything to make it great. The period pieces were extremely well put together (except for the ones that looked like it came from the XMEN movie sets) and the costume designs were amazing. Hugo Weaving as Red Skull was definitely a monster of a performance with the makeup effects looking realistic. Tommy Lee Jones was great too, I didn't expect him to outshine the star. The WWII Captain American outfit was easily as amazing as Red Skull. It didn't look like a tacky piece of leather tailored together. It's probably the best superhero costume put together since Spiderman.
The story was reasonably well-written but the dialogue was either drag or cheesy. They had a couple of really good lines but I guess they didn't know how to stretch the story into a basic three act structure. As such, it felt rushed near the end and had those scenes in it. The ones where they just put in it for fan service or just cause they have to but within the confines of the story....it just doesn't make any sense. Like why Cap looks the way he does with the flamboyant colors and outfit. That was so terribly done I couldn't suspend my disbelief and for me that's hard to do. I can buy alot of ridiculous crap as long as it fits in the movie but that was so tacked on I have to call it out. They could've put it in the movie a different way, no doubt.
Joe Johnston had a good eye with the set pieces since he also did a good job with the look of the Rocketeer but I think they could've gotten someone else to do this. In capable hands, this would've made a good movie into a great one. The script was probably rushed too to concise with the release of the Avengers (which has a brief teaser at the end of this movie).
The story was reasonably well-written but the dialogue was either drag or cheesy. They had a couple of really good lines but I guess they didn't know how to stretch the story into a basic three act structure. As such, it felt rushed near the end and had those scenes in it. The ones where they just put in it for fan service or just cause they have to but within the confines of the story....it just doesn't make any sense. Like why Cap looks the way he does with the flamboyant colors and outfit. That was so terribly done I couldn't suspend my disbelief and for me that's hard to do. I can buy alot of ridiculous crap as long as it fits in the movie but that was so tacked on I have to call it out. They could've put it in the movie a different way, no doubt.
Joe Johnston had a good eye with the set pieces since he also did a good job with the look of the Rocketeer but I think they could've gotten someone else to do this. In capable hands, this would've made a good movie into a great one. The script was probably rushed too to concise with the release of the Avengers (which has a brief teaser at the end of this movie).
Horrible Bosses
Just got back from seeing this.
Great atmosphere in the cinema with most people laughing outloud consistently
throughtout the movie.
Reallly enjoyed it.
4.5/5
Just got back from seeing this.
Great atmosphere in the cinema with most people laughing outloud consistently
throughtout the movie.
Reallly enjoyed it.
4.5/5
Great interview with John Landis in FM this month. When asked why he and the other horror(ish) directorial greats of his day (Carpenter, Romero, David Lynch and the like) can't get a gig in Hollywood anymore he explained that studios won't touch them with a ten foot pole because they no longer want "strong" directors to have control over the movies. That is now the dept of the Hollywood suits & tie types.
Explains a lot as to why they allowed Michael Bay to burn the horror remake world to ashes and why a total sellout like Wes Craven is the only one of those names still getting Hollywood gigs. Lame.
Explains a lot as to why they allowed Michael Bay to burn the horror remake world to ashes and why a total sellout like Wes Craven is the only one of those names still getting Hollywood gigs. Lame.
It's a disgusting system, and ironically, for all the good will that was created in the '80s and '90s by these masters of film, the horror genre is still regarded by the studios as a genre that should not be given adequate budgets. They aren't respected by the major studios to this day, and they are treated as bottom-of-the-barrel in terms of financial backing and promotion.
I hadn't heard that interview, Cruds, but it honestly doesn't surprise me at all (which is sort of even more disturbing). Fortunately, guys like Romero are still making really good work (I might be in the minority, but I think his independent work with Survival of the Dead is fantastic stuff), and hopefully Carpenter can get going on a similar circuit.
I just minutes ago saw the preview for the new Carpenter film and it looks like he sucked it up and went the Wes Craven route. I hope I'm wrong.
It's just pathetic that in world where movies like The Hangover reel in zillions (in my best Don La Fontaine) that the guy who invented those types of movies (Landis) can't get a good gig. I do see he has a grave robber flick coming out backed by IFC. Looking forward to that..
It's just pathetic that in world where movies like The Hangover reel in zillions (in my best Don La Fontaine) that the guy who invented those types of movies (Landis) can't get a good gig. I do see he has a grave robber flick coming out backed by IFC. Looking forward to that..
Cowboys and Aliens - Anyone who knows me here and reads my reviews probably knows I have a soft spot for the silly and bizarre. It really doesn't matter where I find it - whether it's in some absurdest comedy or horror film, I really relish the "zany" when it's done well. So imagine my unabashed interest when I hear there's a movie coming out called "Cowboys and Aliens", and that it's actually got some decent popcorn pedigree behind it. The title sounds like one of the .99 cent DVDs you can find at your local Sunoco, and I mean that as a compliment. Even in a very mediocre summer and year overall, I remained optimistic - the supporting cast looked absolutely remarkable, full of players that are all veterans of some very iconic genre character acting, and Farvreau seems to be a pretty okay guy, despite being a noted Hollywood servant.
So imagine my disappointment when I say that Cowboys and Aliens really ain't s**** . It's not terrible by any means. It's not a brainless music video-caliber effort and it isn't riddled with anything offensive to a logical film-viewer. But it's perhaps one of the more soul-less popcorn adventures I've seen in a while, maybe in a couple years. Now, popcorn films can often be fairly assembly-line washed in this day and age, but it shouldn't have been this film. No film with a cast billing that contains Harrison Ford, Sam Rockwell, Keith Carradine, Clancy Brown, Adam Beach, Walter Goggins, and Paul Dano should ever, in any universe, be called tepid. So much talent that is left with nothing really to do but deliver their lines the best they can and just get to the obvious conclusion as quickly as possible.
And there it is, folks. This is a wasted opportunity on the highest level. There are no risks taken by Favreau here, not a single shot here is ostensibly interesting or unique. Chamberlis, the lead production designer, created (or worse, okayed) some extremely bland alien designs here - the ships, the technology, and the monsters themselves are all something you'd see in a Halo knockoff. But all of that could be forgiven if there was even a hint of an interesting script to speak of. There are maybe three actors given anything of interest to work with here (namely Ford, Beach, and Rockwell), and while they do their best with what they were given, even their smidgen of development is pretty damn boring. Daniel Craig, an actor I think is generally quite interesting as a leading man in most projects, isn't asked to do anything but look like Steve McQueen in a cowboy hat and scowl. Maybe the goal was to create a mysterious character ala Eastwood's Man With No Name, but if it was, it was horribly handled. The script is painfully devoid of any interesting humor, and the material here is taken as serious as the f***ing Holocaust. Yes, a movie about gold-hunting aliens lassoing people from the sky is delivered with not a hint of irony or absurdity.
The rest of the cast, including the plethora of bonafide fantastic character actors I mentioned above, are all trying their best here- again there isn't a single obnoxious or offensive acting performance here. And at times, the sheer charm of their remarkable abilities shine through like a sliver of sunshine in an otherwise overcast sky. But again, there is so much God d**** talent here for there to just be shades of fun. This whole experience should have been an unhinged pleasure cruise rife with a couple dozen shots of insanity, but instead it's a leisurely stroll with a warm can of "meh".
If this was another film with lesser pedigree, this film wouldn't have bothered me. I would have slapped on a 2.5/5 on this baby, and sent it on it's marry way. But this was truly a bothersome film experience for me simply because of what could have been. There are much worse ways to spend two hours of your life, but not a single person should be excited as something as drab as this. If you're a Ford fan, you might want to check it out on video. All others, you should most likely get your alien-action somewhere else - perhaps on the excellent '80-flavored Attack The Block, which is also getting a limited release this week (a review for that is probably coming soon).
2/5
So imagine my disappointment when I say that Cowboys and Aliens really ain't s**** . It's not terrible by any means. It's not a brainless music video-caliber effort and it isn't riddled with anything offensive to a logical film-viewer. But it's perhaps one of the more soul-less popcorn adventures I've seen in a while, maybe in a couple years. Now, popcorn films can often be fairly assembly-line washed in this day and age, but it shouldn't have been this film. No film with a cast billing that contains Harrison Ford, Sam Rockwell, Keith Carradine, Clancy Brown, Adam Beach, Walter Goggins, and Paul Dano should ever, in any universe, be called tepid. So much talent that is left with nothing really to do but deliver their lines the best they can and just get to the obvious conclusion as quickly as possible.
And there it is, folks. This is a wasted opportunity on the highest level. There are no risks taken by Favreau here, not a single shot here is ostensibly interesting or unique. Chamberlis, the lead production designer, created (or worse, okayed) some extremely bland alien designs here - the ships, the technology, and the monsters themselves are all something you'd see in a Halo knockoff. But all of that could be forgiven if there was even a hint of an interesting script to speak of. There are maybe three actors given anything of interest to work with here (namely Ford, Beach, and Rockwell), and while they do their best with what they were given, even their smidgen of development is pretty damn boring. Daniel Craig, an actor I think is generally quite interesting as a leading man in most projects, isn't asked to do anything but look like Steve McQueen in a cowboy hat and scowl. Maybe the goal was to create a mysterious character ala Eastwood's Man With No Name, but if it was, it was horribly handled. The script is painfully devoid of any interesting humor, and the material here is taken as serious as the f***ing Holocaust. Yes, a movie about gold-hunting aliens lassoing people from the sky is delivered with not a hint of irony or absurdity.
The rest of the cast, including the plethora of bonafide fantastic character actors I mentioned above, are all trying their best here- again there isn't a single obnoxious or offensive acting performance here. And at times, the sheer charm of their remarkable abilities shine through like a sliver of sunshine in an otherwise overcast sky. But again, there is so much God d**** talent here for there to just be shades of fun. This whole experience should have been an unhinged pleasure cruise rife with a couple dozen shots of insanity, but instead it's a leisurely stroll with a warm can of "meh".
If this was another film with lesser pedigree, this film wouldn't have bothered me. I would have slapped on a 2.5/5 on this baby, and sent it on it's marry way. But this was truly a bothersome film experience for me simply because of what could have been. There are much worse ways to spend two hours of your life, but not a single person should be excited as something as drab as this. If you're a Ford fan, you might want to check it out on video. All others, you should most likely get your alien-action somewhere else - perhaps on the excellent '80-flavored Attack The Block, which is also getting a limited release this week (a review for that is probably coming soon).
2/5
I was thinking about doing a review of The Ward basically just for you Cruds (as I know you're a resident Carpy fan), but I never got around to it. It isn't bad - there is some insanely unnatural dialogue and a hack twist ending that is very un-Carpenter (for my money, he has some of the best endings regardless of genre usually), but there are some really solid, trademark Carpenter moments, and they make it a very watchable and enjoyable ride. To wit, there are definitely some solid scares too. Most of the films problems are solely writing problems (which Carpenter had no part of), and the performances are at the very least tolerable. I'd probably give it a healthy 3/5 - and it's easily his best feature effort since Escape From L.A.
The Village
A lot of the backlash this movie got was due to the marketing, people wanted a horror and this movie simply isn't a horror, which is obviously understandable. So, if you haven't seen it and you're in the mood for a horror and plan to check this out, I repeat: this isn't a horror.
What it is though, is a dark and gloomy fable. And it had all the ingredients for a good fable: Hero, monsters, journey, love, test of courage... Unfortunately, a good script is needed for a good movie, and a good script was a missing ingredient. It was a great concept but the execution just wasn't there. Such a shame because the plot twist was pretty clever.
Bryce Dallas Howard gives an impressive and convincing lead role as the blind chick, and with the exception of William Hurt (who was reading lines), it was a greatly assembled cast. Speaking of which, not expanding Adrien Brody's role also hurt the movie.
It had the look of a good movie, due to the chilling cinematography and the hauntingly beautiful score, which gave it a really appealing atmosphere. In fact, the score was probably the biggest highlight of the movie.
With that being said, the bad outweighs the good. When the blind chick sets out for her journey, there were some moving and chilling moments but that was about 15 minutes of the movie (and the only time something even remotely exciting happens) while the rest of it was dull and inert. The monsters were almost comical looking and too many times when something happened, it was a classic case of "it didn't need to happen...but it says to happen in the script".
6.5/10
A lot of the backlash this movie got was due to the marketing, people wanted a horror and this movie simply isn't a horror, which is obviously understandable. So, if you haven't seen it and you're in the mood for a horror and plan to check this out, I repeat: this isn't a horror.
What it is though, is a dark and gloomy fable. And it had all the ingredients for a good fable: Hero, monsters, journey, love, test of courage... Unfortunately, a good script is needed for a good movie, and a good script was a missing ingredient. It was a great concept but the execution just wasn't there. Such a shame because the plot twist was pretty clever.
Bryce Dallas Howard gives an impressive and convincing lead role as the blind chick, and with the exception of William Hurt (who was reading lines), it was a greatly assembled cast. Speaking of which, not expanding Adrien Brody's role also hurt the movie.
It had the look of a good movie, due to the chilling cinematography and the hauntingly beautiful score, which gave it a really appealing atmosphere. In fact, the score was probably the biggest highlight of the movie.
With that being said, the bad outweighs the good. When the blind chick sets out for her journey, there were some moving and chilling moments but that was about 15 minutes of the movie (and the only time something even remotely exciting happens) while the rest of it was dull and inert. The monsters were almost comical looking and too many times when something happened, it was a classic case of "it didn't need to happen...but it says to happen in the script".
6.5/10
The main problem with The Village? Brody went full retard. Never go full retard, Adrien.
The problem with The Villiage was M. Night Shyamalan. That guy's movies have gotten progressively worse every time.
The Sixth Sense was great.
Unbreakable was really good.
Signs was good.
The Villiage was average.
Lady in the Water was bad.
The Happening was a suckfest.
The Last Airbender was awful. I heard that one could be his undoing in Hollywood.
He just fell in love with the twist ending after his first two hits, except when you do it in every movie it's no longer a twist.
The Sixth Sense was great.
Unbreakable was really good.
Signs was good.
The Villiage was average.
Lady in the Water was bad.
The Happening was a suckfest.
The Last Airbender was awful. I heard that one could be his undoing in Hollywood.
He just fell in love with the twist ending after his first two hits, except when you do it in every movie it's no longer a twist.
M. Night's biggest damn problem is his obsession with turning all his male leads into gender confused, emotionally challenged softies.
Every lead has some internal torment from their past that has lead to some crossroads, culminating in a decision to finally "stand up" in the face of the latest MNS catastrophe..
Woopity F'n do!
Every lead has some internal torment from their past that has lead to some crossroads, culminating in a decision to finally "stand up" in the face of the latest MNS catastrophe..
Woopity F'n do!
I thought Signs was a great movie about a man trying to restore his faith until the final act when the alien shows up, the poorly executed ending brought down the movie for me.
Lady in the Water could have had a chance if he would have made up his mind that it was going to be a children's movie and advertised it as a children's movie. Guillermo del Toro did and succeeded what M. Night tried and couldn't do.
M. Night has vision but his movies fall short.
Was he thinking Pan's Labyrinth? Because I thought that was actually the most mature GDT film. I guess The Devil's Backbone could be a cool "late night ghost story" kind of film - I would have loved the s*** out of that as a kid.
That's why Michael Jackson showed Devil's Backbone to his "boys"..
There were some sadistic Spanish military scenes in both films that are a bit much for kids..
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