xo isnt giving up his cushy job, he loves it, he only has to work slightly more than jcb
So fun story time.
Tuesday I was driving home from work and happened to drive the van that day.
On the way home the temp light dings and comes one. Temp rising. I stop and get out. Antifreeze pouring out of the engine. Hose popped from the radiator. Had to call a tow.
Now before leaving my office I had a slight urge to poo. Like a 3/10, mild, I can make it home easily.
I had to stop the van in a neighborhood I was cutting through to avoid traffic. I call a tow and it will be 45 mins before they show up. Sucks.
It's also building up a storm outside, starting to sprinkle and it's hot af like June in Alabama.
About the time the van stopped my 3/10 poo urge jumped to a solid 5/10.
About 15 mins pass and the tow company calls me back and says he's stuck in traffic. It will be a bit longer, 7/10 now. I'm uncomfortable.
About that time a guy comes out of his house and asks if I need any help, I'm like "no but thanks, a tow is on the way". He says if it starts to rain feel free to come up on the porch. I'm like thanks, he offers me a water and goes back inside.
8/10
I'm wondering what's going to happen. Do I try to find a bush in this neighborhood? Do I get in the van and shit in a bag? I can tell it's going to be violent.
The tow truck is still probably 30 mins away, plus loading, plus the ride back to the shop to leave it, then finding a bathroom. I'm in serious trouble.
I'm sweating, I'm in pain. It is starting to push on the backdoor. I'm going to shit my pants waiting on a tow truck. Then I'm going to have to ride in the tow truck with shitty pants. My wife is at work. Nobody is close by to help.
9/10
I am straining with everything I have to keep my ass hole shut.
Random guy exits his house again. Small talk.
I have to be in visible pain at this point. Pouring sweat. A violent monster is trying to tear its way out of my butt.
Random asks if I need anything again.
I hit 10/10 I'm about to immediately vacate my bowels in this man's driveway.
"Can I please use your bathroom?"
He says sure come on in.
I hit 10/10
I'm getting dizzy, field of vision is shrinking.
I get up his stairs and he says second door on the left or was it right? I can't tell, I'm in insane pain, now I'm about to shit in this man's floor.
The hallway is dark, I can't see.
He hits the hall light I see the bathroom door and dash inside shutting it quickly. I pray he isn't outside the door.
I barely get my pants over the curvature of my ass cheeks before the first turds start flying out. They're hitting water as my butt sits down.
It smells rancid. I immediately flush and turn on the sink faucet. It keeps coming. I flush once more. Finally I empty out and wipe up.
I was in and out in three mins. It smells like someone microwaved dog shit.
He's in the other room watching TV, thank god.
We go back outside. More small talk. He tells me he's blind in his right eye because he crashed a dirt bike through a window ten years ago. Cool man.
Tow truck pulls up. He stands outside while they load the van. Goes back in as we pull off.
I say a silent prayer that the smell was gone by time he went in.
Never going home that way again.
Tuesday I was driving home from work and happened to drive the van that day.
On the way home the temp light dings and comes one. Temp rising. I stop and get out. Antifreeze pouring out of the engine. Hose popped from the radiator. Had to call a tow.
Now before leaving my office I had a slight urge to poo. Like a 3/10, mild, I can make it home easily.
I had to stop the van in a neighborhood I was cutting through to avoid traffic. I call a tow and it will be 45 mins before they show up. Sucks.
It's also building up a storm outside, starting to sprinkle and it's hot af like June in Alabama.
About the time the van stopped my 3/10 poo urge jumped to a solid 5/10.
About 15 mins pass and the tow company calls me back and says he's stuck in traffic. It will be a bit longer, 7/10 now. I'm uncomfortable.
About that time a guy comes out of his house and asks if I need any help, I'm like "no but thanks, a tow is on the way". He says if it starts to rain feel free to come up on the porch. I'm like thanks, he offers me a water and goes back inside.
8/10
I'm wondering what's going to happen. Do I try to find a bush in this neighborhood? Do I get in the van and shit in a bag? I can tell it's going to be violent.
The tow truck is still probably 30 mins away, plus loading, plus the ride back to the shop to leave it, then finding a bathroom. I'm in serious trouble.
I'm sweating, I'm in pain. It is starting to push on the backdoor. I'm going to shit my pants waiting on a tow truck. Then I'm going to have to ride in the tow truck with shitty pants. My wife is at work. Nobody is close by to help.
9/10
I am straining with everything I have to keep my ass hole shut.
Random guy exits his house again. Small talk.
I have to be in visible pain at this point. Pouring sweat. A violent monster is trying to tear its way out of my butt.
Random asks if I need anything again.
I hit 10/10 I'm about to immediately vacate my bowels in this man's driveway.
"Can I please use your bathroom?"
He says sure come on in.
I hit 10/10
I'm getting dizzy, field of vision is shrinking.
I get up his stairs and he says second door on the left or was it right? I can't tell, I'm in insane pain, now I'm about to shit in this man's floor.
The hallway is dark, I can't see.
He hits the hall light I see the bathroom door and dash inside shutting it quickly. I pray he isn't outside the door.
I barely get my pants over the curvature of my ass cheeks before the first turds start flying out. They're hitting water as my butt sits down.
It smells rancid. I immediately flush and turn on the sink faucet. It keeps coming. I flush once more. Finally I empty out and wipe up.
I was in and out in three mins. It smells like someone microwaved dog shit.
He's in the other room watching TV, thank god.
We go back outside. More small talk. He tells me he's blind in his right eye because he crashed a dirt bike through a window ten years ago. Cool man.
Tow truck pulls up. He stands outside while they load the van. Goes back in as we pull off.
I say a silent prayer that the smell was gone by time he went in.
Never going home that way again.
Last edited by a moderator:
Nah it was their logo and I really liked Jurassic Park and dinosaurs. This was pre Vince Carter.
Hey @TitanJeff and @TitanJeff
I got a message from @JCBRAVE -- he says he has not been able to log in since the server change. Can you help a brother out?
I got a message from @JCBRAVE -- he says he has not been able to log in since the server change. Can you help a brother out?
Take a hint...
extremely
He turned on two-part verification and forgot one of them.
How much of his moolah of his should I take to let him back in? :brow:
How much of his moolah of his should I take to let him back in? :brow:
just change his total # of posts to like 10k
Wait. I can force him to use a generic avatar for the next month.
Thanks for fixing things
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